When I was younger I never wanted to be home.
When I was a little girl I would have rather been at my grandma's or my aunts'.
When I was a teenager I would have rather been at my friends' or out shopping.
After high school I would have rather been anywhere my now-husband was.
Lately, I've come to realize that that feeling is long gone.
I've made a complete turn around.
I've realized just how much I love to be home.
How much I yearn to be here when I am elsewhere.
Right here in the little Cape Cod style house I share with two handsome men.
I can't quite put my finger on when this happened.
I find it interesting to me because it's just a house.
There are four exterior walls, a few sets of stairs, a few rooms, furniture, etc.
but in this physical structure I find so much comfort and tranquility.
I wonder if I would feel the same if we rented it or if we had just moved in
but, at the same time, I know the feeling is not materialistic whatsoever.
It's just a feeling of sincerely loving when within these walls.
It's funny because I stress so much when I am home.
I stress because the laundry isn't done and dinner has to be made
and my son is hanging on me.
There are so many things that annoy me about this house
from drafty windows to lines on the wall that have yet to be touched up with paint
and less than clean bathrooms.
When I am home, I seldom sit down to read a magazine or a book.
Rarely do I get to watch TV without having something else to do at the same time.
Yet there is no where else I'd rather be.
Maybe it is because this is the place where I find unconditional love
and meaning to my sacrifices.
It's the place where I know where almost everything is and that gives me a sense of stability.
It's the place where I can feel free to let my son roam and touch whatever he feels like touching.
I love that I know where I can step to avoid the floor boards creaking
and just how softly I should shut the doors so they don't slam.
I love that, while in our kitchen, my husband randomly announces it's family dance time
and we squish our little man between us so we can rock out to "Can't Buy Me Love"
or we can squish him between us for a family hug and kiss...
(we just like squishing him)
I like that he announces it's family prayer time and sits down to play the guitar
while my son climbs in and out of the guitar case thinking it's the most fun thing in the world.
I love that I can feel free to stand up on my chair and announce we're starting a new tradition
.... and that it's not weird if I do that.
Frankly, it's the only place where I never fear judgement.
If someone was to peek through our window during a family meal...
they'd be in for a treat (until I caught them and called the po-po on them)
It may be imperfect in so many ways
but I have fallen head over heels with the home we're creating
and that's why I want to be here all the time.