Wednesday, September 26, 2012

{ lake placid!!... maybe? }

today i was hoping to post about the trip to lake placid that is supposed to be taking place next week

i was hoping to share about how excited i am 
... to meet  ((yes: MEET)) some ridiculously awesome blogger ladies named 

{thanks for the graphic carina!}

... to chat with all of these ladies in person
and not just through emails, tweets, and dozens of daily texts.

... to finally make my recent daydreams come true of drinking tons of (decaf) coffee while sitting on a porch in the woods, in the mountains while wearing lounge pants and uggs and a scarf
... to finally prove that carina's food is as good as it looks in the pictures on her blog
... to have no schedule or responsibilities for 4 days
... to witness some tattoos being inked on someone else

but i can't share about all that today.

after last monday's 34 week check up with my doctor 
he said he wont give me the "go ahead" on my trip until he checks me again next monday.

this news was a downer to my day and has been a damper to my week.
(it doesn't help my mood to have a baby 
whose head is currently nuzzled in my ribs making it hard to sit
and whose little kicks have me doubling over in pain several times a day)

this week i've had to bring myself to acceptance of the circumstances and of God's will. 
i have to do whatever is best for the baby even if i don't like it 
and trust the doctors recommendations.
i'm dreading the possibility that i could be sitting at home next weekend
with "nothing" really happening.
i have no hopes of having a baby a month early
because i don't even know what having a baby on time is like.
i forget that babies actually can be born after 36+ weeks and be healthy.
and while i'm trying to mentally prepare to be on time or late,
i hate that this little situation is giving me hopes of being even a little bit early.
i know that's not realistic but it is messing with my head. 
because to be perfectly honest, i want this baby out as soon as possible.

((oy vey.))

you might be wondering:
"what was she thinking planning a trip to a location 5 hours away from home
when she is 35 weeks pregnant?!"
what i am still thinking is that jacob was 11 days late 
and the last month of his pregnancy i was sitting at home waiting for contractions to happen.
i was the most un-busy and miserable person in the world for weeks.
this time around i vowed to 
that's what i'm trying to accomplish here.

i'm not giving up hope on being in lake placid in 9 days
but i'm also preparing myself to not be there
(and still have joy in my life)


Unknown said...

Oh no!! Poor you :( Sounds like heaven. Really hope you get to go still.

Coming from

Char x

Carina Schoen said...

praying it works out, girl! love ya.

Jami said...

Love you! And I still say we could deliver this baby ;)

sarah said...

yes. we can deliver. :)

Stephanie said...

Hey... I have been in the delivery room when all three of my grandchildren were born so I'm feeling real confident in our baby delivering skills.

All joking aside, I love your sweet attitude. I'm praying it works out cuz I so want to hug you and that cute belly!


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