i was chatting with my cousin on her bed around this time last year.
my little one, jake, then still an only child, slept in the room next door.
we were having one of those earnest conversations you only have with people who know your heart.
my cousin and i talked about children.
she asked me questions about being a mom, i shared answered honestly.
we didn't know but i was already expecting siena at the time.
my cousin would soon be expecting her first little one too,
a little girl born just two days after my own.
i told her one thing, among many, that i felt i was the most honest about
something that is simple but my absolute favorite thing about babies:
their pure and clean breath.
i know heaven smells like my babies' breath
there is something so absolutely heavenly about that smell.
those little beings are so unharmed, untouched. so innocent. so gentle. so peaceful.
dare i say so holy.
they are little angels.
sure they can scream their heads off and make you want to pull out your hair.
but watch a sleeping baby and you get a glimpse of an angel.
they are what i think God must want for our souls to be like.
unharmed. untouched. innocent. gentle. peaceful.
smelling my kids is the first thing i do when i come to my senses after giving birth.
i hold them close to my face, closest to my nose,
and smell the newness that comes from within them.
i advised my cousin to do the same whenever she had a baby.
and to continue doing it for as long possible. as long as their breath didn't stink.
when siena is awake these days you can find me with my nose buried into her face.
i just drink her scent in. i treasure it.
i wish i could bottle it up.
i know the scent will go away soon. maybe in a few months when she starts eating solids.
maybe later. i'm not going to lie- sometimes you can find me awkwardly close to jake's face too.
but i know that once it goes away, i'll get baby fever.
there is absolutely nothing like it and i hope i can always have a baby around to sniff.
i spoke to my cousin recently and she confirmed:
"it's true, es, her breath is like nothing i've ever smelled before"
i rest my case.