Monday, January 7, 2013

// on sleeping. cosleeping. not sleeping. + sleep walking.

shut-eye is precious and my life revolves around it right now.
i have many thoughts on it. here you go:

sleep. it's a beautiful thing.
uninterrupted sleep. i think i remember what that is.
i love sleep. i want to be in my bed, sleeping, all day.
my soft covers. clean sheets.
my pillow... it's shaped perfectly for my head. it's flat like i like it and the ideal temperature.
i want to sleep late very late. sometimes i can't believe "sleeping in" now means 8am or 9am .
i want to sleep until 11 or even noon. some day maybe?
i think that will be my goal before i have another baby.
the day i sleep until noon, will be the day i think i'm ready for another. yeah. right.

siena loves being held and being held while she sleeps.
a few times last week she decided it was the only place she wanted to sleep.
i was miserable and, though i'm a supporter of the cry-it-out method, i couldn't do it just yet.
she's such a tiny peanut and has had a cough and... i do have a heart.
so i just held her while she slept and laid down to catch some sleep myself.
but it drove me bonkers.
co-sleeping is not my thing. i think that more so than a bond, it can create an attachment
and i like my kids pretty independent.
sorry if that's controversial.
but when she refused to snooze in her rock-and-sleep,
i considered taking on the label of "co-sleeper"
i guess i would do anything to get as much sleep as possible.

i even pulled out our co-sleeper from our attic room
so that she could sleep on the same level as us hoping that she'd be fooled
but she didn't like it.

she has gone back to sleeping next to our bed in her rock and sleep
i'm not sure what it was about those two or three nights
maybe a growth spurt?
whatever it was i'm just grateful i can sleep without any little bodies hanging off of me... for now.

not sleeping:
i'm not used to this whole not sleeping thing.
jake was  a great sleeper since he was a newborn
but since siena was born and he was moved into a toddler bed
he's taken a liking to waking up in the middle of the night and coming into our room
i don't think i'll ever grow accustomed to having my sleep interrupted.
rest isn't the same.

sleep walking:
i have a husband with an uncanny ability to get up to grab
diapers, water, wipes, pacifiers, or even a woken child
without really waking up. he doesn't even remember things the next day.
not waking up it comes in handy when it's 3:30am
and he has to be up for work in two hours
and someone needs help.

someday we'll sleep again. someday. for now, zombies we are.



Carina Schoen said...

"...but I have a heart."
That made me laugh.

Girl, I HEAR YOU. I actually like the co-sleeping for a little while, that's where Frances is. But I also adore sleeping and sprawling and burying myself under my comforter. The time will come... hopefully soon.

In the meantime, we can commiserate.
Love you.

la petite lulu said...

Ahhhh... Sleep :) It does come again, eventually (til they get teeth. Or a cold. Then teeth again. lol!). We too became cosleepers just so we could get some rest. It comes and goes in spurts - sometimes he'll go for months without wanting to be in our bed, other times it's the only way he'll sleep. They are funny little creatures, huh.

Hope you get some more rest soon :)

carolynmp said...

Being sleepless is a crazy stage. I didn't even realize how tired I was until I started sleeping again!

ladybug said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ladybug said...

its amazing how babies and small children hate to sleep and we adults would give anything to have a nap.

ladybug said...

ps: i couldn't sleep with small ones attached either. thank God my kids liked to sleep near us, not in our bed.


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