i did it.
against my better judgement, i decided to take my two kids to costa rica by myself.
i know, i know. who complains about going to costa rica?
i have to admit that i feel a bit spoiled.
it's like hearing someone whining that they were gifted a lexus and not a bmw.
it's like: shut up.
if you don't know, i'm from costa rica.
i moved to the states when i was nine and i still have a ton of family there, including my dad.
it wasn't terribly important for me to visit costa rica as often as we do until we had jake.
now we believe it's important for our kids to know my side of their family
and their heritage and to practice their spanish.
i'm being honest in saying that it was a hard decision for me this year.
i flew back by myself with jake last year and it was an epic fail.
and now i'm going to fly with t w o ? ?
i seriously haven't even attempted to take both of them to the supermarket by myself
but i'm going to another country... on a six hour flight each way... for three weeks.
what is wrong with me?
i can't think about it too much or i'll instantly regret it.
i prayed and thought about this decision for weeks.
not having phil with me really makes me nervous
and frankly we don't have a ton of cash lying around. i mean... who does?
in the end we decided that we needed to make this trip a priority
and that i would have to suck it up and take the kids.
why is this seemingly extravagant vacation a priority?
we have a new baby whom my dad hasn't met
and he has only seen jake two other times.
it is important to us that our kids have a relationship with their grandparents.
they see my mom and phil's parents at least once a week if not more
and they love them.
jake runs to them when they walk in the door
and knows their homes and their names.
but it's not a luxury we have with my dad
so we have to proactive in fostering that relationship.
fostering that relationship comes at a high price...
like two round trip tickets worth, one lap child's ticket worth,
and three weeks of single motherhood worth.
we kinda cringed a little when making the ticket purchase
and i have been breathing through my anxiety about the whole thing.
but in the end we have to kinda throw our hands up in the air in defeat
and remind ourselves that it's a good thing that we're doing.
that our kids will appreciate knowing their grandparents.
i stole most of these pictures from my cousin's instagram feed.
seeing them calms my anxiety because i'll be seeing this beautiful stuff in person in a few weeks.
tough life, right?