Wednesday, February 13, 2013

// saying "wait" to clean floors & clean bums

for lent this year i'm not giving up chocolate or facebook or twitter or what not...
my husband was surprised when i disclosed this information
because what i am doing for lent seems so insignificant.

this year i've decided to work on my prayer life. it's simple but it's a serious sacrifice for me.
my prayer time is essentially non-existent at the moment. 
there is always something to be done that prevents me from sitting down to pray. 
doing 8 loads of laundry because my husband ran out of clean boxers, getting the kids ready to go out for the first time in five days, sweeping up crushed goldfish crackers, changing a diaper that is dangerously close to exploding, cleaning avocado off the bathroom sink (and toilet, and tiles), giving the kids a bath because i got a whiff of one of them, 
taking a shower myself putting my hair in a top bun to disguise how dirty it is

having these things and more in order makes me happy and helps my life run smoothly.
at the end of the day if these things, and more, are done, i am content.

this is where my sacrifice comes in.
this lent, i am going to say "wait" to clean floors and clean bums
not to Jesus.
i'm going to spend time with Him before a dish is washed. 

it gives me anxiety to think of it, honestly.

as part of a secret valentine gift exchange i did with some gals,
my friend sent me a little cute notebook. i love me a pretty school supply. she picked well.
a few days later, it clicked. i needed to get back to writing my prayers.
writing keeps me focused and honest. sometimes i can't spend five minutes in prayer 
but when i start to write down my conversation with the Lord, it seems i can't stop.
it works for me and this lent i'm committed to writing in my new little prayer journal every day.

i know deep inside that all of the material things are fleeting. 
as clean as my floors, the sink, or our clothes could possibly be, 
they could be gone in a second if God so willed.
if my house was to burn down with all of our belongings in it, 
i would run quickly to sob at the feet of Jesus Christ
and i know He would comfort me.
i know he He would definitely not say, 
"get outta here, fair-weather friend!"
but in my heart I would know that's exactly what I am. 
a fair-weather friend. 
when things are going well, i greet Jesus from afar. 
"Hey, good morning, Lord! Gotta go clean up a mess! Have a good day!"
16 hours later
"Good night, God! I'm tired."

if when things comes to pass,
i want to be able to greet the Lord like an old friend
without being ashamed of how i've abandoned him.

that is what i'm working on this lent. 


Little Oak Table said...

I totally understand this! I have a huge need for order too! God will bless your sacrifice!

Anonymous said...

I randomly found your blog through Mike Temple's Instagram (I went to college with him), and I completely and totally love your blog. I could have written this post - I'm a new mom (well, my son's 7 months old, but that's still new!) and this post made me seriously stop in my tracks. Thank you so much for writing it - it gave me so much encouragement and so much hope that I can do something for Lent too to bring me closer to God in the way that I need to (and I need to).



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