// away + thanks

This post was written several days ago while on a coast-to-coast flight.

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It’s the first time in four years that I am on a plane alone.

Really, it’s the first time in a long time that I am alone.

It’s nice to be alone and I really only have my husband to thank for that.

When my “blog friends” started chatting about

Seattle 2013 shortly after Lake Placid 2012

I had a newborn girl.

I couldn’t see past the next hour, much less MONTHS ahead.

I came up with a laundry list of very valid reasons why I wouldn’t be able to go on this trip:

It would mean he would have to take time off from work

It would mean I would leave a nursing baby behind

It would require some babysitting at some point.

It would cost, you know, m o n e y.

I would be far from home, which gives me anxiety.

I can’t remember what other excuses I gave him but there were plenty.

Phil is the one who said, and I quote,

“you should go. you n e e d to go.”

Last year he saw how refreshed I was by that trip.

It was a break I needed before adding another baby to the mix.

When I committed to coming to Seattle, I think I was frazzled by a newborn 

and I thought that would have gone away by now.

I thought I'd be back to my normal self. 

But it hasn’t and I'm not normal anymore.

Adding a second baby to the mix has brought on a seemingly permanent state of 

“too much to do in too little time… and now someone needs a new diaper”

I don’t know what gave my husband the foresight to encourage me to get away 

with girlfriends for a few days despite all the work it would take to make it happen.

I’m lucky that he took time off from work to be Mr. Mom for a few days

And even luckier that he is enthusiastic about it.

He didn’t even ask me to leave meals for them or even to go food shopping.

He didn’t even care when I told him I didn’t get to put the laundry away.

He doesn’t make me feel bad or neglectful or guilty about getting away

Because my heart tends to go there. Ugly guilt.

Somehow he has this awesome wisdom engrained in him that

I work hard and I deserve a break.

He’s a freaking keeper, I tell you.

Thanks babe. I hope you don’t go cray-cray this weekend.

And even if you do, we can just be cray together.